Today started with me bra less, trying to outrun the school
bus to get to my kids before it did. I apologize for the vision.
My daughter had forgotten her lunch money and my son had
forgotten to have an important paper signed, due back today. I peeled out of the
driveway hitting the corner too fast, my car up on 2 wheels…well…not really but
I need you feel me…My heart was racing I was sweating. I got to the bus stop just in time for my son to say "Mom, the bus is here, I don't have time to do this"! and with that, they both got on the bus. Now what!!?? It was clear to me that
she would literally starve to death without her lunch money and he would be
hauled off to Juvie without his paper signed and I single handedly could have
avoided all of this for them. *Sigh…how dramatic! ...failed again. I immediately headed back
home with the “put your fuckin’ seat belt air horn” dinging in my ears, I began
to swear and scream at the top of my lungs hitting the steering wheel and crying,
to then look back and see that the back window was open and people could hear
me... definitely a cringe worthy moment. Just a regular Thursday morning in my world lately…#killme
I think what comforts me is that I am aware that I am losing
it. I wonder how many people around me are aware of it too? Everything is an
extreme. I’m either Nauseous or starving…freezing or overheating so much, I’m
afraid of waking up as a pile of ashes in the morning…I suppose I wouldn’t be
waking up if I were to self-combust…anyways I think you get the idea. Fatigue and
body pain, too lazy to take my vitamins but then complain that I’m deficient. Too
Young to retire! Too old and out of shape to throw caution to the wind and take
up pole dancing! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Ok…so something is definitely up. Or definitely off. Fits of
laughter or fits of crying and rage can all happen in a span of 5 minutes. Can
You give me a Hell Yeah! I think it’s the Big M…Menopause. Or Pre menopause or
premature pre menopause…whatever the hell it is, it needs to be stopped.
